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. inviting. “I think I could get used to this. It’s actually a pretty comfortable mattress.” I stretched out beside her.“Lily, I don’t know if I want to be your lover. I wouldn’t mind trying it once. God knows, I’ve tried everything else.”“Really? Tell me about what you’ve done.” She rolled onto her side and faced me, resting her elbow on the bed and her face in her hand. I really wanted to tell her about my former life and how I got here, but I didn’t want to get locked away in an asylum. Do they still have those?Instead, I told her what happened on prom night and she was so outraged she wanted to drive to Fargo and do some damage to Jesse. I told her what I’d done to destroy his reputation and she rolled onto the floor laughing. She crawled back up into the bed.“What else did you do?”“I went kind of crazy. I slept with a different boy every weekend until graduation. The first one and the last one were pretty damned good.” I told her about Carl, the fifteen-year-old.“A. I had a thought that Bobbi would be the most likely candidate to breach the sanctity of the forbidden men’s room but reasoned that she would be occupied with Mary. I did worry that Sgt. Sanchez might come in to check on me. I sat in a stall for at least 10 minutes just letting the tears flow. When someone came in, I made it sound like I was having a hard time going so as to cover up the sniffles. After they left and I knew it was clear, I made my way to the sinks, threw cold water on my face and looked at the person staring back at me. All I saw was this pitiful excuse for a feminine looking male, wearing women’s underwear under a man’s uniform and couldn’t keep it straight as to which gender I was supposed to be. The dark thought about how it would be so easy to just finally end this screwed up existence came on strong. Luckily, the thoughts about those that I would leave behind trying to find answers keep the dark thought at bay. I thought about what my Mother and the rest of.
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